lorem ipsum | mistranslated

Lorem Ipsum’s history dates back to the 1500s and was originally derived from Cicero’s ‘Extremes of Good and Evil’. I’ll vouch for the extreme evil bit, as I thought I’d entertain myself with purposely mistranslating elements of Lipsum for a bit of semi-lucid timewasting:

Et harum quidem rerum facilis est et expedita distinctio.

The hareem cost a few quid and was full of facilities that were distinctly expensive.

Sed mauris lorem, dignissim at, molestie dapibus, feugiat ac, lectus.

Maurice said Lauren, quite dignified, molested a daffodil, ate a ferret, and was a lech.

Cras sed nulla.

There was nothing crass in what I said.

Nulla nibh massa, euismod ut, pulvinar et, euismod sed, nunc.

I didn’t tip the massuese, I could smell her, it pulverised me, I told her she smelt, she nutted me.

Vestibulum sed orci. Vestibulum interdum.

My mate Orki said he wanted to go to the vestibule. Stupid vestibule.

Vivamus nisi justo, lobortis ac, congue eget, tristique a, erat.

Vivaciously she jousted, lobotomising me, doing the conga and having a tryst with a rat.

Phasellus purus nisi, molestie eu, ullamcorper in, blandit eu, risus. Mauris pulvinar.

She’d tell you she was pure, molest you, jump in a helicopter, and bandit you, right. Maurice was pulverised.

Mauris sodales tellus non dolor.

Maurice told us sod all, the non-entity.

Your turn…….